**Woman Sues Pelicans’ Williamson, Accusing Him of Sexual Violence: Claims He “Dunked” on Her Consent**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the sports world reeling, a woman has filed a lawsuit against New Orleans Pelicans star Zion Williamson, claiming he “dunked” on her consent during a recent charity event. The plaintiff, identified only as “Karen from Accounting,” alleges that Williamson’s towering presence and “overwhelming charisma” made it impossible for her to say no when he asked her to join him for a post-game smoothie.
“I was just trying to enjoy my kale smoothie when he swooped in like a freight train,” Karen stated in a press conference held outside the Smoothie King Center. “I felt like I was being blocked by a 6’7″ wall of muscle. I mean, who can say no to a guy who can jump higher than my self-esteem after a breakup?”
Williamson, who is known for his incredible athleticism and questionable taste in smoothies, responded to the allegations with a statement that left many scratching their heads. “I thought we were just vibing over some mango madness! I didn’t know I was committing a foul!” he exclaimed, while attempting to balance a smoothie on his head.
Legal experts are baffled by the case, with one anonymous lawyer stating, “This is unprecedented. Usually, we see lawsuits over bad calls or missed free throws, but this? This is a whole new level of court drama.”
Meanwhile, Pelicans fans are rallying behind Williamson, with one die-hard supporter, Chuck “The Dunk” Thompson, declaring, “If Zion can dunk on defenders, he can definitely dunk on consent! Just kidding! But seriously, this is ridiculous.”
As the case unfolds, one thing is clear: the only thing getting dunked here is the reputation of the smoothie industry. Stay tuned for updates as we follow this slippery situation—because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that in the world of sports, the drama is always on the court!
