**Wisconsin Man Appeals to Trump Administration After Being Fired for Refusing Preferred Pronouns: “I’m Just a Simple Cheesehead!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the cheese-loving state of Wisconsin reeling, local man and self-proclaimed “pronoun traditionalist” Bob “The Badger” Johnson has appealed to the Trump administration after being fired from his job at a local cheese factory for refusing to use his co-workers’ preferred pronouns.
“I’m just a simple cheesehead,” Johnson declared in a press conference held outside the factory, which he insisted on calling “The Gouda Palace.” “I don’t understand why I can’t just call everyone ‘dude’ and ‘bro.’ It’s worked for me for years!”
Johnson’s troubles began when he was caught on camera referring to his co-worker, a non-binary individual named Alex “The Artisan” Smith, as “that person over there.” Smith, who prefers the pronouns “they/them,” was understandably upset. “I just wanted to be recognized as a human being, not a block of cheddar!” they exclaimed, while wearing a shirt that read “Pronouns Matter, Even in Wisconsin.”
In a bizarre twist, Johnson claims he has received support from former President Donald Trump himself. “I got a tweet from him saying, ‘Bob, you’re a great guy. Keep fighting the good fight! #CheeseOverPronouns,’” Johnson said, waving his phone in the air like it was a trophy.
When asked for comment, Trump’s spokesperson, Kellyanne Con-Way, stated, “We support all Americans, even those who think pronouns are just fancy cheese names.”
As Johnson prepares to take his case to the Supreme Court, he remains optimistic. “If I can’t call my co-workers what I want, what’s next? Will I have to start calling Swiss cheese ‘holey cheese’?!”
For now, Johnson is back to making cheese curds and plotting his next move, which he insists will involve a “Cheesehead Rally for Pronoun Freedom.” Stay tuned, Wisconsin!
