**Wisconsin Elections Commission Approves Hand Counting of Ballots in Small Communities: A New Era of Democracy or Just a Really Long Game of Bingo?**
In a groundbreaking decision that has left many scratching their heads and others reaching for their calculators, the Wisconsin Elections Commission has officially approved the hand counting of ballots in small communities. This monumental move is expected to revolutionize the electoral process, or at least provide a solid excuse for why your uncle hasn’t finished counting the family’s Thanksgiving turkey.
“Finally, we can bring back the good old days of democracy,” said local resident and self-proclaimed ballot expert, Earl “Count von Count” McGillicuddy. “Nothing says ‘freedom’ like a bunch of folks huddled around a table, squinting at tiny numbers and arguing over whether that smudge is a vote for Bob or just a leftover piece of pizza.”
The decision comes after a series of complaints from small-town residents who felt that electronic voting machines were just too high-tech for their liking. “I mean, I can barely operate my toaster,” said Mildred “I Still Use a Flip Phone” Johnson. “How am I supposed to trust a machine that can count faster than my grandson can eat a slice of pie?”
In a related development, the Commission has also approved the use of bingo cards as a method for tracking votes. “It’s all about making voting fun again,” said Commission Chairperson, Linda “Bingo Queen” Thompson. “We’re just one step away from adding a karaoke machine to the polling place. Imagine voting for your favorite candidate while belting out ‘I Will Survive!’”
Critics of the hand counting initiative have raised concerns about the potential for human error. “What if someone accidentally counts a cat as a vote?” asked local skeptic and part-time conspiracy theorist, Gary “The Cat Whisperer” Thompson. “I mean, I love Mr. Whiskers, but I don’t think he’s qualified for office.”
As the hand counting initiative rolls out, small communities across Wisconsin are preparing for what could be the most entertaining election season yet. So grab your bingo daubers and prepare for a night of democracy like you’ve never seen before—complete with snacks, questionable counting methods, and the inevitable debate over whether a crayon mark counts as a legitimate vote. After all, in Wisconsin, every vote matters—even if it’s just a doodle of a cow.
