**Wildfire Threatens Civil War Historical Site in New Mexico, Prompting Campground Evacuations: “We’ll Just Have to Fight the Flames!”**
In a shocking turn of events, a wildfire has threatened the hallowed grounds of the Civil War historical site in New Mexico, prompting urgent evacuations of nearby campgrounds. Local campers, who were initially excited to reenact the Battle of Glorieta Pass, are now more concerned about dodging flames than cannonballs.
“I came here to relive history, not to become part of a new one,” lamented local reenactor and self-proclaimed Civil War expert, Jedediah “Firestarter” Thompson. “I mean, I didn’t sign up for a ‘hot’ summer camp experience!”
As the flames danced dangerously close to the site, park rangers scrambled to evacuate campers, many of whom were dressed in full period attire. “I’ve never seen so many people in wool uniforms trying to outrun a fire,” said Ranger Betty “Flame Retardant” Johnson. “It’s like a bizarre episode of ‘Survivor: Civil War Edition.’”
Meanwhile, local historian and part-time barbecue enthusiast, Colonel Rufus “Grill Master” McGee, attempted to salvage the situation. “We’ll just have to fight the flames with the same spirit as our ancestors!” he declared, brandishing a fire extinguisher like a musket. “If they can charge into battle, we can charge into the fire! Who’s with me?”
As the smoke billowed and the flames crackled, campers were seen fleeing with their tents, hot dogs, and questionable historical accuracy. “I just hope my s’mores don’t get burned,” cried one camper, who was last seen sprinting away in a Union soldier costume, clutching a half-melted chocolate bar.
In the end, the wildfire may have extinguished the reenactment, but it ignited a new tradition: the annual “Flame Wars,” where campers will compete to see who can roast marshmallows the fastest while dodging imaginary cannon fire. “It’s all about keeping history alive,” said Thompson, “even if it means getting a little singed in the process!”
As the smoke clears, one thing is certain: New Mexico’s Civil War site may be in peril, but the spirit of absurdity is alive and well.
