**Why Apple Has Been Reluctant to Manufacture iPhones in the US: A Deep Dive into the Fruit Basket of Excuses**
In a shocking revelation that has left tech enthusiasts scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists sharpening their tinfoil hats, Apple has been less than enthusiastic about manufacturing iPhones in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Why, you ask? Well, it turns out that the reasons are as juicy as a Granny Smith apple.
First off, Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, was overheard at a recent board meeting saying, “Why would we make iPhones in America when we can pay someone in a far-off land a dollar a day? That’s like asking a cat to stop chasing laser pointers!” Clearly, the man has a way with words.
But it doesn’t stop there. Sources close to the company (who wish to remain anonymous, but we’ll call them “Steve Jobs’ Ghost”) revealed that Apple is concerned about the potential for “overheating” in American factories. “Have you seen how hot it gets in Texas?” the ghost lamented. “We can’t have iPhones melting like ice cream on a summer day!”
Moreover, Apple’s secretive “Operation: Avoid Labor Laws” has been a resounding success overseas. “In China, we can work our employees like they’re in a never-ending episode of ‘Survivor’,” said a fictional Apple employee named Bob, who claims to have once been a contestant on the show. “In America, they expect breaks and bathroom access. It’s a nightmare!”
And let’s not forget about the “Apple Tax.” According to a recent study by the Institute of Totally Made-Up Statistics, manufacturing in the U.S. would add an estimated $1,000 to the price of each iPhone. “I mean, who wants to pay $2,000 for a phone that can still drop calls?” quipped a random guy on the street, who may or may not have been holding a flip phone.
In conclusion, while Apple continues to dodge the question of U.S. manufacturing like a pro dodgeball player, we can only hope that one day they’ll realize that sometimes, the best fruit is grown right in your own backyard. Until then, we’ll just have to keep our fingers crossed and our wallets ready for those overpriced imports.
