**White House to Propose $9.4B DOGE Cuts Package to Congress Next Week**
In a move that has left economists scratching their heads and dog owners barking with laughter, the White House announced plans to propose a $9.4 billion cuts package aimed at the beloved cryptocurrency, Dogecoin (DOGE). The proposal, dubbed the “Bark Budget,” is set to be unveiled next week, and insiders say it’s all part of a strategy to “fetch” some fiscal responsibility.
“Look, we’ve got to make some tough choices,” said White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki, while petting a Shiba Inu. “We can’t just keep throwing money at a meme. I mean, have you seen the price of dog treats lately? They’re through the woof!”
The proposed cuts have sparked outrage among the Dogecoin community, with self-proclaimed “Doge Lord” and crypto enthusiast, Chad “The Dogefather” Barkington, stating, “This is an attack on our way of life! Next, they’ll be coming for our chew toys!”
Meanwhile, Congress is reportedly divided on the issue. Senator Barkley Woofington (D-CA) expressed his dismay, saying, “This is a slippery slope. First, they take away our DOGE, then they’ll be taking away our right to wear silly dog costumes on Halloween!”
In a surprising twist, the White House is also considering a new tax on cat videos to help offset the cuts. “We’re calling it the ‘Purr Tax,’” said an anonymous source who insisted on being called “Fido.” “It’s only fair that cat people contribute to the economy too, right?”
As the nation waits with bated breath (and wagging tails), one thing is clear: the battle over Dogecoin is just beginning, and it’s bound to be a howling good time. Stay tuned for more updates as this story develops—preferably with a side of kibble.
