**White House Calls for Jill Biden to Address ‘Cover-Up’ of Former President’s Decline: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, the White House has officially called for First Lady Jill Biden to address what they are calling the “Cover-Up of the Century” regarding the former president’s decline. Sources close to the situation, who wish to remain anonymous but are definitely not just the family dog, say that the situation has become so dire that even the squirrels in the Rose Garden are starting to look concerned.
“Honestly, it’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck,” said White House Press Secretary Karla McFluff, who was last seen trying to explain the concept of time to a confused goldfish. “We need Jill to step in and clarify that the former president is not, in fact, a sentient potato. He just has a very unique way of expressing himself.”
In a press conference that was more chaotic than a toddler’s birthday party, Jill Biden reportedly said, “I’m just here to make sure everyone knows he’s not losing his mind. He’s just… re-evaluating his life choices. Like that time he thought wearing socks with sandals was a good idea.”
Meanwhile, former President Joe Biden was spotted in the Oval Office attempting to negotiate a peace treaty with a particularly aggressive houseplant. “I’m not in decline; I’m just in a ‘strategic retreat’ phase,” he declared, while accidentally mistaking a stapler for a microphone.
Political pundit and self-proclaimed “Biden Whisperer,” Chuckle McGee, weighed in on the situation, stating, “This is all part of a larger plan. If we can convince the public that he’s just a quirky grandpa instead of a confused mannequin, we might just pull this off!”
As the nation holds its breath, one thing is clear: the only thing being covered up here is the fact that we’re all just one awkward family dinner away from a full-blown reality show. Stay tuned for the next episode of “Keeping Up with the Bidens,” where we’ll explore whether Joe can finally remember where he left his glasses—or if they were ever on his face to begin with.
