**West Coast Officials Raise Alarm Over Highly Contagious Viral Disease Diagnosis in Traveler: “It’s Not Just the Weather That’s Spreading!”**
In a shocking turn of events, West Coast officials have raised the alarm over a highly contagious viral disease diagnosed in a traveler who recently returned from a trip to the mysterious land of “Somewhere Else.” The disease, dubbed “Wanderlustitis,” is said to cause uncontrollable urges to book flights, wear flip-flops in winter, and post incessantly about avocado toast on social media.
Dr. Phil McCracken, the head of the West Coast Health Department, stated, “We’ve seen this before. It starts with one person, and before you know it, everyone is wearing Hawaiian shirts and sipping piña coladas at 10 AM. We can’t let this happen again!”
The traveler, identified only as “Dave,” reportedly contracted the disease after a week-long vacation filled with sun, sand, and an alarming number of beach selfies. “I thought I was just getting a tan,” Dave said, “but now I can’t stop talking about how great the ‘local cuisine’ was, even though it was just a taco truck.”
Local residents are taking precautions, with many donning protective gear that includes oversized sunglasses and sun hats. “I’m not taking any chances,” said local barista and self-proclaimed ‘beach guru’ Sandy Shores. “I’ve already unfollowed three friends on Instagram who posted about their trips to Cabo. It’s a slippery slope!”
In response to the outbreak, officials have set up “quarantine zones” at popular beaches, where anyone exhibiting symptoms of excessive wanderlust will be required to binge-watch travel documentaries until they can recite the capitals of at least five countries.
As the situation unfolds, experts are urging the public to remain calm. “Remember,” Dr. McCracken added, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—and maybe a sudden craving for overpriced smoothies.”
Stay tuned for updates, and remember: if you feel the urge to book a flight, just say no! Or at least, say “not until after my coffee.”
