**Virginia Enacts Law to Restrict Cellphone Use in Public Schools: Students Now Required to Communicate via Smoke Signals**
In a groundbreaking move that has left students and teachers alike scratching their heads, Virginia has officially enacted a law restricting cellphone use in public schools. The law, dubbed the “No More TikTok in Class Act,” aims to curb the rampant trend of students filming their teachers’ epic fails and posting them online.
Governor Ralph Northam, in a press conference that was ironically streamed live on social media, stated, “We want our students to focus on their education, not on perfecting their dance moves during algebra.” He then added, “Besides, I can’t have my mom seeing me on TikTok doing the ‘Renegade’ in front of my math teacher. It’s just embarrassing.”
The law mandates that students must now communicate using “traditional methods,” which include carrier pigeons, smoke signals, and interpretive dance. “We believe this will foster creativity,” said Education Secretary Linda Fumblebottom. “Imagine a classroom where students express their thoughts through interpretive dance instead of texting. It’s like ‘Footloose’ meets ‘Dead Poets Society.’”
Students, however, are less than thrilled. “I can’t even send a Snapchat without my teacher thinking I’m plotting a rebellion,” complained 16-year-old Jake “The Textinator” Thompson. “Now I have to learn how to make smoke signals? I can barely make toast!”
In a surprising twist, the law has sparked a new underground movement among students. “We’re calling it ‘Operation Smoke Signal,’” said 15-year-old Emily “The Firestarter” Johnson. “We’re going to communicate in code using smoke. It’s like Morse code, but cooler and way more dangerous.”
As the law takes effect, Virginia schools are bracing for a wave of creativity that may or may not involve actual fire. In the meantime, teachers are reportedly brushing up on their pigeon-keeping skills, while students are perfecting their dance moves—just in case they need to express their feelings about algebra in a more artistic way.
Stay tuned for updates as this story develops, and remember: if you see smoke rising from a Virginia school, it’s probably just a student trying to send a text.
