**Venezuelan Man Caught Posing as Teen to Enroll in Ohio High School: “I Just Wanted to Relive My Glory Days!”**
In a plot twist that could only be described as “Ferris Bueller meets Narcos,” a 32-year-old Venezuelan man, who we’ll call “Carlos ‘The Kid’ Mendoza,” was apprehended this week after attempting to enroll in a high school in Ohio, claiming he was a 17-year-old exchange student. Authorities say Mendoza, who was last seen sporting a backpack filled with textbooks and a suspiciously well-worn skateboard, was caught when he tried to pay for lunch with a coupon for “Buy One Get One Free” tacos.
“I thought he was just really dedicated to his studies,” said Principal Linda “No-Nonsense” Johnson. “But when he asked if he could join the varsity wrestling team because he ‘missed the thrill of slamming people,’ I knew something was off.”
Mendoza, who reportedly told classmates he was a “pro gamer” and “part-time influencer,” was discovered after he tried to impress the girls by claiming he had a “sick TikTok following” and could teach them how to do the latest dance craze. “I just wanted to relive my glory days!” he exclaimed, while unsuccessfully attempting to do the floss dance.
Local authorities were baffled by Mendoza’s elaborate ruse. “We’ve seen some wild things in Ohio, but this takes the cake,” said Officer Bob “The Enforcer” Thompson. “I mean, who tries to pass off a 32-year-old as a teenager? He should’ve at least tried to grow a mustache or something!”
Mendoza is now facing charges of “fraudulent youthfulness” and “excessive enthusiasm for high school sports.” Meanwhile, he’s reportedly considering a career in motivational speaking, with his first seminar titled “How to Be Young Again: A Guide to Faking It Until You Make It.”
As for the school, they’re just relieved they didn’t have to deal with any more “senior pranks” this year. “We’ve had enough trouble with actual teenagers,” Principal Johnson sighed. “Next time, let’s just stick to the usual: fake IDs and underage drinking.”
