**Utah Dentists Gear Up for the State’s First Fluoride Ban: Preparing Patients for Change**
In a shocking turn of events that has left dental hygienists shaking in their scrubs, Utah has officially announced a ban on fluoride, sending dentists across the Beehive State into a frenzy. As the first state to take such a bold step, Utah is preparing for a future where cavities might just become the new fashion statement.
Dr. Smiley McTooth, a dentist from Salt Lake City, expressed his concerns: “Without fluoride, we’re going to have to start recommending candy as a dental health supplement. I mean, who doesn’t love a good gummy bear? They’re practically nature’s toothbrush!” McTooth is already stocking up on lollipops and bubblegum-flavored toothpaste, claiming it’s the “new wave of dental care.”
Meanwhile, local dentist Dr. Cavity Free, who has been practicing for over 30 years, is taking a more proactive approach. “I’ve started offering ‘Cavity Prevention Classes’ where I teach patients how to brush their teeth with nothing but water and sheer willpower. It’s a revolutionary technique!” he said, while simultaneously trying to sell his new book, *The Art of Brushing with Nothing*.
Patients are also gearing up for the change. Local resident Betty Bicuspid stated, “I’m just excited to see what my teeth will look like without fluoride. Maybe I’ll finally get that ‘vintage’ look I’ve always wanted!”
As the ban approaches, dentists are preparing for a surge in business. “We’re expecting a 300% increase in cavity-related appointments,” said Dr. McTooth. “And if that doesn’t happen, I’ll just start offering ‘Cavity Insurance’—it’s like health insurance, but for your teeth!”
In a last-ditch effort to save their fluoride-laden livelihoods, Utah dentists are also lobbying for a new state motto: “Utah: Where Cavities Are Just a Part of Life!”
As the fluoride ban looms, one thing is clear: Utah dentists are ready to embrace the chaos, one cavity at a time.
