**US Military Veterans from Uzbekistan Base Seek Proper Care 20 Years After Closure: “We Just Want Our Free T-Shirts!”**
In a shocking turn of events, a group of US military veterans who served at the now-defunct Karshi-Khanabad Air Base in Uzbekistan have banded together to demand proper care—20 years after the base was closed. The veterans, who refer to themselves as the “Uzbekistan Avengers,” claim they’ve been living off a diet of stale MREs and nostalgia since 2005.
“Honestly, I thought I’d be getting a medal or at least a free T-shirt,” said veteran Chuck “The Mustard” Johnson, who insists he still has a “Karshi-Khanabad: The Base of Dreams” mug that he drinks from every morning. “Instead, I’m just getting ignored. I mean, I could really use a good back rub and a side of fries right about now.”
The group has taken to social media, launching a hashtag campaign: #WhereAreMyTShirts. “We’re not asking for much,” said veteran Linda “The Lizard” Thompson, who claims she was once chased by a lizard the size of a Humvee while on patrol. “Just some acknowledgment that we existed! And maybe a few free T-shirts. I mean, who doesn’t love a good T-shirt?”
In a bizarre twist, the veterans have also requested that the government provide them with “emotional support camels,” citing their fond memories of riding camels during their deployment. “They were great listeners,” said veteran Dave “The Camel Whisperer” Martinez. “And they never judged me for my karaoke skills.”
As the Uzbekistan Avengers continue their quest for recognition, they’ve also started a GoFundMe page to finance their “T-Shirt and Camel Fund.” “We’re not just fighting for ourselves,” said Chuck. “We’re fighting for every veteran who ever wanted a free T-shirt and a camel buddy. And maybe a side of fries.”
Stay tuned for updates as this story develops—because if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that every veteran deserves a T-shirt, a camel, and a side of fries.
