**US Intel’s Misjudgment on TdA Gang’s Links to Maduro: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking revelation that has left the world scratching its head and laughing uncontrollably, a former Venezuelan army officer, General Juan “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” Rodriguez, has claimed that US intelligence agencies have completely misjudged the links between the notorious TdA gang and Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro. “I mean, come on! The only thing they’re connected to is a bad Wi-Fi signal and a love for arepas,” Rodriguez quipped during a press conference held in a taco truck.
According to Rodriguez, US intelligence analysts mistook the TdA gang’s Instagram posts of them partying with Maduro for a “strategic alliance.” “They thought it was a summit meeting! It was just a birthday party for a parrot named ‘Chávez Jr.’” he added, while sipping a piña colada and wearing a sombrero that suspiciously resembled Maduro’s hairdo.
In a statement that has left analysts baffled, Rodriguez claimed, “The only thing the TdA gang is smuggling is bad karaoke and questionable fashion choices. I mean, have you seen their outfits? They look like they raided a thrift store during a clearance sale!”
Meanwhile, US intelligence officials are reportedly reviewing their methods, with one anonymous source stating, “Next time, we’ll just ask Google. It’s cheaper than hiring a bunch of analysts who can’t tell the difference between a gang and a salsa dance troupe.”
As the world waits for further updates, one thing is clear: if US intelligence is looking for a new career path, they might want to consider becoming stand-up comedians. After all, they’ve already mastered the art of delivering punchlines!
