**US Economy Shrinks 0.2% in Q1 Amid Ongoing Trade War, Second Estimate Reveals: Experts Blame Everything from Avocado Toast to Alien Invasions**
In a shocking turn of events, the US economy has officially shrunk by 0.2% in the first quarter of 2023, prompting economists to scramble for explanations that are as plausible as they are entertaining. The second estimate, which was released just after a particularly intense game of Monopoly, has left many scratching their heads and wondering if they should start investing in gold-plated toilet seats instead.
“Honestly, I thought we were just going through a rough patch,” said local barista and self-proclaimed economic guru, Jenna “The Latte Whisperer” McFadden. “But then I realized it’s probably all that avocado toast. I mean, have you seen the price of avocados lately? It’s like they’re made of gold!”
Meanwhile, in a press conference that was more circus than serious, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen stated, “We’re looking into all possible causes for this economic dip. It could be the trade war, or it could be that aliens are abducting our best workers. I mean, have you seen how many people are missing from the office lately? It’s suspicious!”
Adding to the chaos, renowned economist Dr. Phil McCracken suggested that the economy’s shrinkage might be due to “too many people binge-watching reality TV instead of working.” He added, “If I see one more person trying to sell their homemade soap on Instagram instead of contributing to GDP, I might just lose it!”
As the nation grapples with this unexpected economic hiccup, one thing is clear: the only thing growing faster than the avocado prices is the number of conspiracy theories about why our economy is shrinking. So, grab your tinfoil hats and your artisanal toast, folks—this economic rollercoaster is just getting started!
