**University Garden Defaced in Alleged Anti-Israel Protest: ‘Don’t Waste Your Tears’**
In a shocking turn of events, the prestigious University of Overzealous Activism has found itself at the center of a botanical scandal after its beloved garden was defaced in what officials are calling an “alleged anti-Israel protest.” The garden, known for its vibrant tulips and a suspiciously large number of gnomes, was left with a message that read, “Don’t Waste Your Tears,” scrawled in what appeared to be organic beet juice.
“I thought it was just a new art installation,” said sophomore and self-proclaimed garden enthusiast, Daisy Petunia. “But then I realized, no one would ever use beet juice for anything other than a salad dressing. It’s a travesty!”
University officials are baffled. “We’re not sure how this relates to Israel,” said Dean of Students, Dr. Phil McCracken. “But we do know that the gnomes are now in hiding. They’re very sensitive about political issues.”
In a bizarre twist, the university’s mascot, a giant inflatable falafel named Fawzi, was also found deflated and covered in what appeared to be hummus. “I was just trying to promote peace through snacks!” lamented Fawzi’s handler, a junior named Hummus Al-Mustafa. “Now I’m just a sad ball of chickpeas.”
Meanwhile, the university’s art department has announced plans to turn the defaced garden into a new exhibit titled “Tears of the Gnome: A Political Commentary.” “We’re hoping to raise awareness about the plight of gnomes everywhere,” said art major and part-time philosopher, Vincent Van Gnome. “They’re often overlooked in these discussions.”
As the university grapples with this unprecedented crisis, one thing is clear: the garden may never bloom the same way again. And as for the gnomes? They’re reportedly seeking therapy.
