**Unity in Diversity: Pride Groups Unite in DC for Common Goals (and Free Snacks)**
In a historic gathering that can only be described as a rainbow-hued potluck of fabulousness, various Pride groups descended upon Washington, D.C. this past weekend to unite for common goals—namely, equality, representation, and, of course, an endless supply of free snacks.
The event, dubbed “Pride-a-Palooza: The Gathering of the Glitterati,” saw representatives from every corner of the LGBTQ+ spectrum, including the “Flamboyant Flamingos,” the “Subtle Unicorns,” and the newly formed “Straight Allies Who Just Want to Help but Don’t Really Understand.”
“Unity in diversity is great and all,” said flamboyant activist and self-proclaimed “Queen of Sass,” Glitter McSparkle. “But let’s be real: I’m really just here for the vegan cupcakes. Have you tried them? They’re like a hug from a rainbow!”
As the day progressed, attendees engaged in a series of workshops, including “How to Make Your Own Pride Flag” and “The Art of Sassy Comebacks.” One workshop, “How to Explain Your Identity to Your Grandma,” was particularly popular, with participants sharing tips like, “Just tell her you’re a ‘special kind of rainbow’ and hope for the best.”
Meanwhile, a group of self-identified “Pride Pundits” held a panel discussion titled “What’s Next for Pride?” which quickly devolved into a heated debate over whether pineapple belongs on pizza. “If we can’t agree on pizza toppings, how can we expect to unite for equality?” lamented panelist and pizza enthusiast, Tony “The Slice” Pepperoni.
As the sun set over the nation’s capital, attendees joined hands (and snacks) in a final chant of “Love is Love, but Free Snacks are Life!” The event concluded with a spectacular flash mob performance of “I Will Survive,” featuring a surprise appearance by none other than RuPaul, who declared, “If you can’t love yourself, at least love the snacks!”
In the end, the gathering proved that while diversity may be the spice of life, free snacks are the secret ingredient to unity. And as Glitter McSparkle put it, “Together, we can conquer the world—one cupcake at a time!”
