**U.S. Exits Group Investigating Accountability for Ukraine Invasion: “We’re Just Not Ready for That Level of Adulting”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the world scratching its head and wondering if the U.S. is just a teenager who forgot to do their homework, the Biden administration has officially exited the international group investigating accountability for the Ukraine invasion. Sources close to the White House report that officials were simply “not ready for that level of adulting.”
“Honestly, we thought it was just a group project,” said a White House intern who wished to remain anonymous. “You know, like when you all agree to do a presentation but then one person shows up with a pizza and the other just Googles ‘how to make a PowerPoint.’”
The decision to exit the group was met with mixed reactions. “I mean, who needs accountability anyway?” quipped Senator Chuck “I’m Just Here for the Snacks” Schumer. “It’s not like we’re in a high-stakes game of Monopoly where someone’s going to flip the board over if they lose.”
Meanwhile, Secretary of State Antony Blinken was seen at a local coffee shop, sipping a pumpkin spice latte and muttering, “Accountability? I thought we were just going to send a strongly worded tweet.”
In a bizarre twist, the U.S. has decided to focus on more pressing matters, such as organizing a national “Bring Your Pet to Work Day” and figuring out how to make avocado toast without breaking the bank. “We’re just trying to keep it real,” said a spokesperson who was busy scrolling through TikTok for the latest dance trends.
As the world watches in bemusement, one thing is clear: the U.S. is committed to its new motto: “Why fix problems when you can just ignore them and binge-watch Netflix?”
