**Tulsa’s Black Mayor Unveils $100M Trust to Address Legacy of 1921 Race Massacre: “We’re Not Just Throwing Money at It, We’re Throwing Glitter!”**
In a groundbreaking move that has left many scratching their heads and others reaching for their wallets, Tulsa’s Black Mayor, Gwendolyn “Gwen” Sparkle, announced a $100 million trust fund aimed at addressing the legacy of the 1921 Race Massacre. “This isn’t just about money; it’s about making history fabulous!” Sparkle declared at a press conference held in a local disco, complete with a disco ball and a DJ spinning ‘70s hits.
The trust, dubbed the “Tulsa Glitter Fund,” aims to not only provide reparations but also to sprinkle a little sparkle on the city’s history. “We’re not just throwing money at it; we’re throwing glitter!” Sparkle exclaimed, as confetti cannons went off in the background. “Because if we can’t make history fabulous, what’s the point?”
Local resident and self-proclaimed historian, Chuck “The History Buff” McGee, was skeptical. “I mean, I love glitter as much as the next guy, but can it really fix a massacre? I tried using glitter to fix my marriage once, and it didn’t go well,” he said, shaking his head.
The fund will also include a “Glittering History” initiative, which will feature a series of workshops on how to turn historical trauma into fabulous art. “We’re talking about painting murals, creating dance performances, and maybe even a reality show called ‘Real Housewives of Tulsa: The Glitter Edition,’” Sparkle added, winking at the camera.
Critics have raised eyebrows, with one local resident, Betty “The Skeptic” Johnson, stating, “I just don’t see how glitter can heal wounds. I tried to use it to heal my cat’s broken leg, and all I got was a very confused vet.”
Despite the skepticism, Mayor Sparkle remains undeterred. “We’re not just making history; we’re making it fabulous! And if that means throwing a little glitter around, then so be it!”
As Tulsa prepares to embrace its sparkly future, one thing is clear: history may be heavy, but with a little glitter, it can be fabulous!
