**Trump’s Visa Threat to Harvard Could Endanger Multiple Sports Teams: A National Emergency in the Making**
In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has threatened to revoke the visas of all international students at Harvard University, claiming they are “stealing our sports trophies” and “making our football teams look bad.” This bold move has sent shockwaves through the Ivy League, where students are now more concerned about their athletic prowess than their academic achievements.
“Look, I’m not saying that the Harvard Quidditch team is losing because of foreign players, but I did see a guy from England fly right past our seeker last week,” said Harvard’s head coach, Chuck “The Wizard” McGuffin. “If we lose the World Cup of Quidditch, I’m blaming it on Brexit!”
Meanwhile, the university’s fencing team is in a state of panic. “Without our French exchange students, we might as well be fencing with pool noodles,” lamented captain Pierre “The Poodle” Dupont. “I mean, who else is going to teach us how to say ‘en garde’ with a proper accent?”
In a bizarre twist, Trump’s spokesperson, Melvin “The Meltdown” McGee, stated, “We need to protect American sports! If we let these international students stay, who knows what will happen next? They might start introducing cricket to our baseball games!”
As Harvard scrambles to keep its international athletes, students are reportedly forming a “Save Our Sports” coalition, complete with T-shirts that read, “Make Harvard Great Again—One Sport at a Time.”
In the meantime, the university is considering a new recruitment strategy: “If you can’t beat them, just bribe them with free tuition and a lifetime supply of avocado toast.”
As the nation holds its breath, one thing is clear: the fate of Harvard’s sports teams hangs in the balance, and it’s all thanks to a former president who thinks a soccer ball is just a fancy football.
