**Trump’s Second-Term Approval Ratings Decline Despite Progress on Border Security: “I Just Wanted a Wall of Ice Cream!”**
In a shocking twist that has left political analysts scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists scrambling for their tinfoil hats, former President Donald Trump’s second-term approval ratings have plummeted faster than a lead balloon, despite what his team is calling “unprecedented progress” on border security.
According to sources close to the former president, Trump has been busy building a wall—of ice cream. “I thought it would be a great way to keep the kids from crossing the border into my backyard,” Trump reportedly said while holding a cone of mint chocolate chip. “Who doesn’t love ice cream? It’s the perfect deterrent!”
Meanwhile, his approval ratings have dipped to an all-time low of 12%, a number that even his most loyal supporters are calling “a little too optimistic.” “I mean, I love the guy, but I can’t eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” said local Trump enthusiast and part-time magician, Larry “The Great” McFlurry. “I need some variety! Maybe a wall of pizza next?”
In a bizarre twist, Trump’s team has begun to blame the media for the ratings drop, claiming that “fake news” is spreading rumors that the wall is melting. “It’s not melting; it’s just… very soft serve,” said Trump’s press secretary, who insisted on remaining anonymous but was later identified as “Melody McSprinkles.”
As the nation watches this ice cream saga unfold, one thing is clear: if Trump can’t secure his approval ratings, at least he can secure a spot in the Guinness World Records for the largest ice cream wall ever built. “I’m just trying to make America sweet again,” Trump concluded, as he prepared to unveil his latest flavor: “MAGA Mint.”
Stay tuned for more updates on this deliciously absurd political landscape!
