**Trump’s ‘Sanctuary Jurisdictions’ List Features Supportive Immigration Policy Areas: A Hilarious New Strategy!**
In a shocking twist that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rolling on the floor, former President Donald Trump has unveiled his latest brainchild: a list of “Sanctuary Jurisdictions” that actually support immigration policies. Yes, you read that right! The list includes places like San Francisco, New York City, and—wait for it—Waffle House locations across the South.
“Waffle House is a sanctuary for all,” Trump declared at a recent rally, while flipping pancakes and wearing a chef’s hat. “They serve everyone—immigrants, tourists, and even that guy who thinks he’s a chicken. It’s a melting pot of hash browns!”
The list has sparked a wave of confusion among his supporters. “I thought sanctuary cities were bad!” exclaimed local Trump enthusiast, Bubba “The Brain” Johnson. “But if Waffle House is on the list, I guess I’m okay with it. I mean, have you tried their pecan waffles? They’re to die for!”
Critics, however, are not so easily swayed. “This is just another ploy to distract us from the fact that he still can’t find his way out of a paper bag,” said political analyst and part-time magician, Hermione Granger. “I mean, if he thinks Waffle House is a sanctuary, wait until he finds out about the Taco Bell drive-thru!”
In a bizarre twist, Trump has also suggested that the list be expanded to include “all places that serve nachos.” “Nachos are the true American dream,” he proclaimed, while munching on a plate of cheesy goodness. “If you can’t find a nacho in America, are you even in America?”
As the nation grapples with this new reality, one thing is clear: if you’re looking for sanctuary, just head to your nearest Waffle House. Just don’t forget to tip your waitress—she might be an undocumented immigrant with a secret recipe for the best grits in town!
