**Trump’s Justice Dept. Speech Shows a Renewed Quest for Vengeance: A Hilarious Retelling**
In a stunning display of political theatrics, former President Donald Trump delivered a speech at the Justice Department that can only be described as a Shakespearean tragedy—if Shakespeare had written plays about fast food and Twitter feuds. With a renewed quest for vengeance that would make even the most vengeful of superheroes blush, Trump took to the podium, declaring, “I’m not just here for justice; I’m here for *just us*!”
The speech, which was part motivational seminar, part revenge fantasy, featured Trump’s signature blend of bravado and bewilderment. “You know, I’ve always said that justice is like a Big Mac,” he proclaimed. “It’s best served cold, with a side of fries and a large Coke of retribution!” The crowd erupted in laughter, or perhaps it was just the sound of them choking on their own disbelief.
In a particularly memorable moment, Trump vowed to “bring back the guillotine” for anyone who dared to question his hair. “It’s not just a hairstyle; it’s a national treasure!” he exclaimed, as the audience collectively wondered if they had accidentally wandered into a medieval fair.
As he wrapped up his speech, Trump promised to “make vengeance great again,” adding, “If you’re not with me, you’re against me—and that’s a *bigly* problem!” The crowd cheered, though some were still trying to figure out if they were at a political rally or a bizarre episode of a reality show.
In the end, Trump’s speech was a reminder that in the world of politics, vengeance is not just a dish best served cold; it’s also a great way to keep your base entertained. As one enthusiastic supporter put it, “Who needs justice when you can have a good old-fashioned vendetta?!” And with that, the quest for vengeance continues—one tweet at a time.
