**Trump to Host South African Leader Amidst Rising Tensions and Other Major News**
In a shocking turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, former President Donald Trump has announced he will host South African President Cyril Ramaphosa at Mar-a-Lago next week. The meeting comes at a time when tensions are rising faster than a balloon at a kid’s birthday party—especially after Trump’s recent comments about “the great African safari” and “the best biltong in the world.”
“Cyril and I are going to have a tremendous time,” Trump declared in a statement that was 90% exclamation points. “I hear he’s got some great ideas about land reform. I’ve got some great ideas about golf. It’s going to be huge!”
Sources close to the former president say he plans to impress Ramaphosa with a lavish dinner featuring “American classics” like cheeseburgers, fries, and a side of “Make America Great Again” ketchup. “I’m also going to show him my collection of golf trophies,” Trump added, “which are all real, by the way. No fake news here!”
Meanwhile, in other major news, a new study has revealed that 90% of Americans believe they could run a country better than the current administration. “I mean, I can’t even run a microwave,” said local resident Betty McFluff, “but I’m pretty sure I could do a better job than whoever is in charge now. I’d just make everyone take naps and eat pizza.”
As tensions rise and the world spins on its axis, one thing is clear: whether it’s Trump hosting a South African leader or Betty McFluff’s pizza diplomacy, we’re all just one tweet away from a new headline. Stay tuned for more updates, and remember, if you can’t laugh at the news, you’re probably just crying into your biltong!
