**Trump Signs Spending Bill to Fund Government: “I’m Just Here for the Snacks!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads and snack enthusiasts cheering, former President Donald Trump has signed a spending bill to fund the government, declaring, “I’m just here for the snacks!”
The bill, which allocates funds for everything from infrastructure to the National Park Service’s annual supply of sunscreen, was met with mixed reactions. “I thought we were just going to build a wall made of nachos,” Trump reportedly said while munching on a bag of Cheetos. “But I guess this is fine too. I mean, who doesn’t love a good government-funded cheese dip?”
Sources close to the former president revealed that Trump was initially hesitant to sign the bill until he learned it included provisions for a new golf course in the White House backyard. “I’m not saying I’m a golf addict, but I did just order a custom putter shaped like my hair,” he quipped.
Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer commented, “We’re just glad he didn’t try to fund a taco truck on every corner. Although, I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” Meanwhile, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was seen rolling her eyes and muttering, “I can’t believe we’re letting a man who thinks ketchup is a vegetable decide our budget.”
As the bill passed, Trump took to social media to celebrate, tweeting, “Just signed the best spending bill ever! It’s tremendous! And I’m getting a lifetime supply of Twinkies. #SnackGoals.”
In a final twist, the bill also included a provision for a national “Snack Day,” where Americans are encouraged to celebrate by eating their weight in chips and dip. “Finally, a holiday I can get behind!” Trump exclaimed, as he prepared to host a “Snack Summit” at Mar-a-Lago.
As the government gears up for another year of funding, one thing is clear: when it comes to politics, it’s all about the snacks.
