**Trump Sanctions: A Direct Attack on Border Organized Crime, According to Expert**
In a bold move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and organized crime bosses rolling on the floor laughing, former President Donald Trump has announced a new round of sanctions aimed directly at border organized crime. “This is a game-changer,” said self-proclaimed expert and part-time magician, Dr. Alonzo “The Great” McFiddlesticks. “I mean, who knew that slapping sanctions on criminals would be more effective than, say, a stern talking-to?”
According to sources close to the former president, the sanctions will include a ban on all taco trucks operating within a 50-mile radius of the border. “Taco trucks are the lifeblood of organized crime,” Trump reportedly said while munching on a taco. “Without them, how will they transport their illegal nachos?”
In a press conference that was more circus than serious, Trump declared, “We’re going to make organized crime pay for their crimes! And if they don’t, we’ll just keep sending them tweets until they cry.” When asked about the effectiveness of sanctions, Trump replied, “Look, I once sanctioned a pizza delivery guy for being late. He never showed up again!”
Meanwhile, local crime syndicates are reportedly in a panic. “What are we going to do without our taco trucks?” lamented Juan “The Salsa King” Rodriguez, a notorious crime lord. “I mean, we can’t just switch to salad! That’s not how this works!”
As the sanctions roll out, experts predict a rise in underground taco delivery services, with names like “Taco ‘Bout Crime” and “Nacho Average Smuggler” popping up overnight. “We’re just trying to keep the streets spicy,” said a shadowy figure known only as “El Guacamole.” “And if that means dodging sanctions, so be it!”
In the end, it seems that Trump’s latest sanctions may not only be a direct attack on organized crime but also a hilarious reminder that sometimes, the best way to fight crime is with a side of guacamole and a whole lot of laughter.
