**Trump Expresses Discontent with Putin Following Major Ukraine Attack: “I Thought We Were Friends!”**
In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has publicly expressed his discontent with Russian President Vladimir Putin after a major attack on Ukraine. “I thought we were friends, okay? I mean, we had a great time at that summit. He even gave me a nice hat!” Trump lamented during a recent rally in a gymnasium that was suspiciously decorated with both American flags and a life-sized cardboard cutout of Putin.
Sources close to Trump revealed that he was particularly upset after seeing a news report that featured a photo of Putin riding a bear while launching missiles. “I can’t believe he’s doing this! I mean, I ride golf carts, not bears! What’s next? A bear in the White House?” Trump exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief.
In a series of tweets that were later deleted (but not before being immortalized by the internet), Trump wrote, “Putin is acting like a total loser. I thought we had a deal! I even sent him a ‘Besties Forever’ mug! Now I’m going to have to get a new mug that says ‘Worsties Forever.’”
Political analysts are baffled by Trump’s reaction. “It’s like he’s surprised that Putin is acting like a dictator,” said Dr. Ima Jokes, a political science professor at the University of Satire. “It’s like being shocked that a bear is, well, a bear. They’re not known for their tea parties.”
Meanwhile, Trump has reportedly reached out to his former allies, including Kim Jong-un, to discuss a potential intervention. “I’m thinking of sending him a strongly worded letter. Maybe a postcard from Mar-a-Lago? That’ll show him!” Trump declared, as he scribbled furiously on a napkin.
As the world watches this bizarre saga unfold, one thing is clear: when it comes to international relations, Trump’s strategy is as unpredictable as a cat on a Roomba. Stay tuned for more updates, and remember, folks, always check your bear-riding friends before they launch missiles!
