**Trump DOJ Probes Biden-Era Pardons Amid Mental Fitness Concerns: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation both bewildered and chuckling, the Trump Department of Justice has launched an investigation into the Biden administration’s pardons, citing “serious mental fitness concerns.” Sources close to the investigation revealed that the DOJ is particularly interested in the pardons of individuals who may or may not have been involved in a highly classified underground potato sack race.
“Look, we’re not saying Joe Biden is losing it, but he did once try to pardon a turkey by giving it a high-five,” said former White House advisor and self-proclaimed potato sack race expert, Chuck “The Sack” McGee. “I mean, who does that?”
The investigation reportedly began when a concerned citizen, who identified himself as “Bobby the Baffled,” filed a complaint after witnessing Biden mistakenly pardon a slice of pizza during a press conference. “I thought it was a joke at first,” Bobby said. “But then I realized he was serious. I mean, who pardons food? Next thing you know, he’ll be giving a presidential medal to a hot dog!”
In a bizarre twist, the DOJ has also summoned a panel of mental fitness experts, including Dr. Phil and a talking goldfish named Goldie, to assess the situation. “We’re taking this very seriously,” said Attorney General Merrick Garland, who was last seen trying to convince a group of squirrels to testify. “We need to know if these pardons were the result of sound judgment or just a really bad game of charades.”
As the investigation unfolds, the nation waits with bated breath—and a side of fries—to see if Biden’s pardons will stand or if they’ll be tossed into the political fryer. Meanwhile, Trump has reportedly begun drafting his own list of pardons, which includes a long-lost sock and a rubber chicken named Clucky McQuackface.
Stay tuned for updates as this story continues to develop, or as we like to say, “Stay tuned for more nonsense!”
