**Trump Declares Boulder Terror Attack ‘Unacceptable,’ Urges Continued Deportations: A Hilarious Misunderstanding of Geography**
In a stunning display of both confusion and determination, former President Donald Trump took to social media to address the recent Boulder terror attack, declaring it “unacceptable” and urging for a “massive deportation of all those who can’t even spell ‘Boulder’ correctly.”
“Boulder? More like Bouldern’t!” Trump tweeted, clearly mixing up the picturesque Colorado town with a new line of boulders he plans to sell at his upcoming garage sale. “We need to build a wall around Boulder to keep out the bad vibes and the people who think hiking is a sport.”
In a press conference that left many scratching their heads, Trump elaborated, “We can’t let these Boulderites think they can just throw rocks at our democracy. I mean, have you seen their granola? It’s practically a weapon!”
Local resident and self-proclaimed Boulder expert, Chuck “The Rock Whisperer” McGee, responded, “I don’t know what he’s talking about. We just want to enjoy our organic kale smoothies in peace. If he wants to deport someone, he should start with the guy who keeps stealing my parking spot!”
Meanwhile, Trump’s team has reportedly begun drafting a new executive order titled “Operation Boulder Dash,” which aims to deport anyone who has ever used the phrase “rock climbing” in a non-sarcastic manner.
As the nation watches in bemusement, one thing is clear: when it comes to geography, Trump is still trying to find his way out of the White House.
