**Trump Criticizes Harvard for Delayed Release of Foreign Student Information: “What Are They Hiding? A Secret Society of Time Travelers?”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation both bewildered and mildly amused, former President Donald Trump took to social media to express his outrage over Harvard University’s delayed release of foreign student information. “I mean, what are they hiding? A secret society of time travelers? I wouldn’t put it past them!” Trump tweeted, followed by a series of emojis that can only be described as a mix between a taco and a confused cat.
The controversy erupted when Harvard, known for its rigorous academic standards and questionable dining hall food, failed to meet a deadline for disclosing the names and details of its foreign students. “This is a disgrace,” Trump continued in his post. “I’ve seen better transparency from a pair of sunglasses at a solar eclipse!”
In a press conference held in front of a giant inflatable duck, Trump elaborated, “I’ve always said, if you can’t trust Harvard, who can you trust? Maybe those guys who sell hot dogs on the corner. At least they’re upfront about their questionable meat!”
Harvard officials, meanwhile, were busy trying to explain the delay, with spokesperson Linda Quirk stating, “We were just trying to ensure that the information was accurate. You know, like when you try to find the right filter for your Instagram post. It takes time!”
In a surprising twist, a group of Harvard students, led by self-proclaimed “Student Body President” and part-time magician, Dave “The Great” McFlurry, staged a protest outside the university’s gates. “We demand to know why they’re taking so long! I mean, I can pull a rabbit out of a hat in under five seconds!” he declared, while accidentally pulling out a sandwich instead.
As the saga unfolds, one thing is clear: whether it’s time travelers or just a case of bureaucratic sloth, Trump’s critique has certainly added a sprinkle of absurdity to an already bizarre academic year. And as for Harvard? They’re probably just hoping this all blows over faster than their last admissions scandal.
