**Trump Advocates ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’ as Answer to Biden’s Four-Year Struggles: ‘The Biggest Tax Cut in History’**
In a stunning turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, former President Donald Trump has unveiled his latest brainchild: the “Big, Beautiful Bill.” This legislative masterpiece promises to be the biggest tax cut in history, or at least the biggest since the last time he said that.
“Folks, let me tell you, this bill is so big and beautiful, it makes the Great Wall look like a picket fence,” Trump declared at a press conference held in front of a giant inflatable tax return. “We’re talking about tax cuts so huge, they’ll make your head spin faster than a golf ball on one of my courses!”
The bill, which Trump claims will solve all of Biden’s four-year struggles, includes provisions for “tax breaks for everyone who has ever said ‘You’re fired!’” and “a special tax exemption for anyone who can name all the Kardashians in under 30 seconds.”
“Honestly, I think it’s a great idea,” said local resident and self-proclaimed tax expert, Bob “The Taxinator” McGee. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to pay less taxes? I haven’t paid taxes since 2015, and I’m doing just fine! Well, except for that one time I tried to pay with Monopoly money.”
Critics, however, are skeptical. “This is just another one of his schemes,” said political analyst and part-time magician, Linda Van Hocus. “Next, he’ll be proposing a ‘Big, Beautiful Wall’ around the IRS. Spoiler alert: it won’t work!”
As the nation waits with bated breath for Congress to respond, Trump has already begun selling “Big, Beautiful Bill” merchandise, including hats, mugs, and a limited edition line of tax-themed action figures. “They’re going to be huge,” he promised, “just like my ego!”
In the meantime, Biden has reportedly responded by proposing a “Medium-Sized, Decent Bill” that includes a tax cut for anyone who can successfully explain what a ‘filing status’ is without crying.
Stay tuned as this story develops, or as Trump would say, “Stay tuned, folks. It’s going to be tremendous!”
