**Trump Administration Seeks SCOTUS Approval to Proceed with Federal Workforce Cuts: “We’re Just Trying to Make America Slim Again!”**
In a bold move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and the rest of us rolling on the floor, the Trump Administration has officially petitioned the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) for approval to proceed with sweeping federal workforce cuts. “We’re just trying to make America slim again!” declared White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who was last seen trying to fit into a pair of jeans from 1999.
The proposed cuts, which aim to trim the federal workforce by a whopping 50%, have been met with mixed reactions. “I think it’s a great idea,” said local conspiracy theorist and part-time magician, Dave “The Disappearing Act” Johnson. “If they can make half the government disappear, imagine what they could do with my ex-wife’s alimony payments!”
Meanwhile, President Trump himself weighed in on the matter, stating, “We’re going to cut the fat, folks. And by fat, I mean all those people who actually do their jobs. We want a lean, mean, government machine!” He then added, “And if we can get rid of the IRS while we’re at it, that’s just a bonus!”
Critics of the plan have voiced concerns that cutting the workforce could lead to chaos in federal agencies. “What happens when no one is left to process tax returns?” asked former IRS agent and current cat meme enthusiast, Linda Purrington. “I mean, I can’t wait to see how they handle my refund. Maybe they’ll just send me a pizza instead!”
As the Supreme Court prepares to deliberate on this unprecedented request, one thing is clear: the Trump Administration is committed to making government as efficient as a sloth on a Sunday stroll. “We’re not just cutting jobs; we’re cutting red tape, blue tape, and any tape we can find,” said Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, who was last seen trying to tape together a broken government.
Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember: if you see a federal employee, give them a hug. They might be out of a job by next week!
