**Trump Administration Revokes Harvard Student Visas in Fox News Politics Update: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking twist that has left the academic world reeling, the Trump Administration has officially revoked the visas of all Harvard students, citing “excessive elitism” and “too many fancy words.” In a press conference that can only be described as a masterclass in confusion, White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany stated, “We can’t have students running around with degrees that sound like they’re from a different planet. What’s a ‘sociology’ anyway? Sounds like a disease!”
The decision came after President Trump reportedly watched a documentary about Harvard and became convinced that the school was a front for a secret society of time travelers. “I mean, have you seen their library? It’s like a portal to the past!” Trump exclaimed, while gesturing wildly at a picture of the Harvard Yard. “I don’t trust anyone who can read more than three books a year. That’s just suspicious!”
In a bizarre twist, the administration has offered to replace the revoked visas with “Trump University Diplomas,” which, according to the President, are “just as good, if not better.” “I graduated from Trump University, and I can tell you, I learned everything I need to know about business and how to make a great taco bowl,” he added, while flipping through a stack of unmarked papers.
Meanwhile, Harvard students are left scrambling. “I was just trying to study for my finals,” said sophomore and self-proclaimed ‘future Nobel laureate’ Jessica P. Wonk, “but now I’m considering a career in interpretive dance. At least I won’t need a visa for that!”
As the dust settles, one thing is clear: the Trump Administration has once again proven that when it comes to politics, they’re always ready to take a swing at the absurd. And in the words of Harvard’s unofficial mascot, a confused-looking squirrel named Nutty McNutface, “This is nuts!”
