**Trump Administration Reinstates Operations at 36 Mine Safety Offices: A New Era of Safety or Just a New Era of Confusion?**
In a bold move that has left many scratching their heads and others just scratching their backs, the Trump Administration has announced the reinstatement of operations at 36 mine safety offices across the country. This decision comes after a thorough review that involved a lot of “very smart people” and a few questionable decisions made over a game of poker.
“Mining is a dangerous business, and we need to ensure that our miners are safe,” said Secretary of Labor, Melvin “Minesweeper” McGee, who was last seen wearing a hard hat and a Hawaiian shirt. “We’re bringing back these offices to make sure that miners can mine safely, or at least safely enough to avoid any major injuries—like losing a finger or two.”
Critics have raised eyebrows, claiming that the reinstatement is more about optics than actual safety. “It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a shark bite,” said local miner and part-time philosopher, Chuck “The Pickaxe” Johnson. “Sure, it looks good, but I’m still bleeding out here!”
In a press conference that was more circus than serious, Trump himself chimed in, stating, “We’re going to make mining great again! We’re going to have the best mines, folks. The best! And we’re going to make sure the miners are safe, unless they’re mining for votes—then all bets are off!”
As the nation holds its breath, waiting to see if these offices will actually improve safety or just provide a new venue for bingo nights, one thing is clear: the only thing more unpredictable than a mine shaft is the Trump Administration itself. So grab your helmets, folks; it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
