**Trump Administration Reinstates English Proficiency Requirement for Truck Drivers: “We Can’t Have Them Asking for Directions in Spanish!”**
In a move that has left the nation scratching its collective head, the Trump Administration has announced the reinstatement of an English proficiency requirement for truck drivers. The decision, which has been met with both applause and confusion, aims to ensure that our nation’s truckers can communicate effectively—especially when it comes to asking for directions.
“Let’s be honest,” said Secretary of Transportation, Chuck “The Road Warrior” McGee. “We can’t have our truck drivers rolling into a diner in Texas and asking for directions in Spanish. What’s next? Ordering a cheeseburger in Mandarin? No thanks!”
The new requirement mandates that all truck drivers must pass a rigorous English test, which includes identifying the difference between “left” and “right” and understanding the phrase “You missed your exit, buddy!” The test will also feature a practical component where drivers must successfully navigate a roundabout without causing a 12-car pileup.
Critics of the policy, including renowned linguist Dr. Ima Wordsmith, argue that this is a step backward. “What’s next? Requiring them to recite Shakespeare while parallel parking?” she exclaimed. “I mean, I can barely remember my own name when I’m trying to find a parking spot!”
In a surprising twist, the administration has also announced plans to offer a “Truck Driver English Boot Camp,” where aspiring drivers can learn essential phrases like “Where’s the nearest rest stop?” and “I swear I’m not lost!”
Meanwhile, truck drivers across the country are preparing for the new requirements. “I’ve been driving for 20 years, and I can barely spell ‘truck,’” said veteran driver Hank “The Highwayman” Johnson. “But if it means I can keep my job, I’ll learn to say ‘y’all’ and ‘fixin’ to’ in no time!”
As the nation gears up for this new chapter in trucking history, one thing is clear: the open road just got a little more… articulate.
