**Trump Administration Claims Columbia Ignored Civil Rights Law Amid Campus Protests: “They Just Wanted to Play Frisbee!”**
In a shocking turn of events, the Trump Administration has accused Columbia University of ignoring civil rights laws during recent campus protests, claiming that students were more interested in playing frisbee than engaging in meaningful dialogue. “I mean, have you seen these kids?” said former White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany. “They’re out there tossing discs like it’s the Olympics! If they spent half as much time studying civil rights as they do perfecting their throws, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”
The accusations came after a series of protests erupted on campus, where students were seen holding signs that read “Frisbees for Freedom” and “Tossing for Tolerance.” According to sources, the administration was particularly concerned about a viral TikTok video featuring students performing a choreographed frisbee dance while chanting, “No justice, no peace, just let us play!”
In a press conference, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos weighed in, stating, “I’ve seen more serious discussions at a dog park. If they want to protest, they should at least do it with a little more pizzazz. Maybe throw in some interpretive dance or a flash mob!”
Meanwhile, Columbia’s President, Dr. Ivy League, responded with a statement that read, “We take civil rights very seriously. But let’s be honest, frisbee is a sport of the people. If we can’t toss a disc while discussing systemic inequality, what’s the point of higher education?”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: frisbee is now the official sport of civil rights, and students are determined to keep the spirit of protest alive—one throw at a time.
