**Trans Athlete AB Hernandez Wins California Girls’ Track and Field State Championships, Challenging Trump’s Views**
In a stunning turn of events that has left the sports world—and Donald Trump—scratching their heads, AB Hernandez, a trans athlete, sprinted past the competition to win the California Girls’ Track and Field State Championships. Hernandez, who identifies as a “professional speedster and occasional avocado toast enthusiast,” has not only claimed victory but also thrown a wrench into Trump’s views on trans athletes, leaving the former president tweeting furiously from his golf cart.
“I thought I was fast, but AB is like a cheetah on roller skates!” exclaimed local competitor Sally “The Speed Bump” Thompson, who finished a solid 12th place. “I mean, I was just trying to figure out how to tie my shoelaces while AB was already halfway to the finish line!”
In a post-race interview, Hernandez declared, “I’m just here to run and maybe start a new trend in track suits. Have you seen my sparkly ones? They’re fabulous!” When asked about Trump’s recent comments on trans athletes, Hernandez quipped, “I’d challenge him to a race, but I’m afraid he’d just try to build a wall at the starting line.”
Trump, who was reportedly watching the race from his Mar-a-Lago bunker, tweeted, “AB Hernandez? More like AB-solutely not! #MakeTrackGreatAgain.” Sources close to the former president say he’s now considering a new career as a track coach, despite having never run a day in his life. “I’ll teach them how to run… away from my policies!” he allegedly said while munching on a cheeseburger.
As Hernandez celebrated with a victory lap and a rainbow flag, the crowd erupted in cheers, chanting, “Run, AB, run!” Meanwhile, Trump was last seen trying to figure out how to run a 5K on a golf cart.
In the end, AB Hernandez not only won a championship but also proved that sometimes, the only thing faster than a trans athlete is the speed at which outdated views can be challenged. And if that doesn’t deserve a medal, we don’t know what does!
