**Tim Cowlishaw Critiques ESPN as ‘Around the Horn’ Wraps Up 22-Year Journey: A Farewell to the Hot Air Balloon of Sports Talk**
In a shocking twist that no one saw coming—mostly because they were too busy watching paint dry—ESPN’s beloved (and sometimes bewildering) sports debate show, “Around the Horn,” has officially wrapped up its 22-year journey. Tim Cowlishaw, the show’s resident sage and self-proclaimed “King of the Hot Take,” took to Twitter to deliver a critique that was as sharp as a butter knife.
“ESPN has finally decided to retire the show that taught us all how to argue about sports while simultaneously ignoring the actual games,” Cowlishaw tweeted, adding, “I mean, who needs facts when you have a timer and a panel of people who look like they just woke up from a nap?”
As the show’s final episode aired, Cowlishaw was seen wearing a black armband and a T-shirt that read, “I survived 22 years of Tony Reali’s puns.” He later commented, “I’ll miss the days when I could yell at my TV and pretend I was smarter than a former athlete who’s now a commentator. It’s like losing a friend who only ever talked about LeBron’s hairline.”
In a heartfelt tribute, fellow panelist and part-time philosopher, Max “The Stat Man” Johnson, said, “Around the Horn was like a family reunion where everyone argues over who gets the last slice of pizza. Except the pizza was actually just our dignity.”
As the credits rolled, Cowlishaw raised a glass of lukewarm coffee and declared, “Here’s to 22 years of shouting at each other about who’s better: Tom Brady or a slice of pizza. Spoiler alert: it’s always the pizza.”
In a final twist, ESPN announced that they would replace “Around the Horn” with a new show called “Around the Corn,” where experts debate the merits of various popcorn flavors. Cowlishaw was last seen contemplating whether butter or kettle corn would win in a head-to-head matchup. “At least I can finally argue about something that matters,” he sighed, as he prepared for the next great debate.
