**The Disappearance of Cannes’ Iconic Promotional Stunts: A Tragic Comedy**
CANNES, France—In a shocking turn of events that has left the film industry reeling, the iconic promotional stunts of the Cannes Film Festival have mysteriously vanished, leaving behind only a trail of bewildered publicists and a few confused seagulls. Once a bastion of extravagant marketing, the festival is now a somber affair, with only the sound of crickets (and the occasional French mime) filling the void.
Gone are the days when A-list celebrities would arrive on the red carpet in a hot air balloon shaped like a giant popcorn kernel or when directors would reenact their films with interpretive dance. “I was really looking forward to seeing Timothée Chalamet emerge from a giant cake this year,” lamented local film buff and part-time mime, Jean-Claude “The Silent” Dupont. “Now, I’m just left with my thoughts and a half-eaten croissant.”
Industry insiders speculate that the disappearance of these stunts is linked to a new wave of “serious” filmmakers who believe that art should be “pure” and “not involve inflatable dinosaurs.” “I mean, who needs a 30-foot inflatable T-Rex when you can have a 30-minute monologue about existential dread?” said avant-garde director and self-proclaimed “serious artist,” Pierre LeBoring.
In a desperate attempt to revive the festival’s spirit, organizers have proposed a new stunt: a live reenactment of the entire festival using only sock puppets. “We’re calling it ‘Cannes in Socks,’” said festival director, Marguerite Flambé. “It’s going to be a real toe-tapper!”
As the world waits with bated breath for the return of the beloved promotional antics, one thing is clear: Cannes without its iconic stunts is like a croissant without butter—utterly tragic and slightly dry.
