**The 10 Priciest Prescription Medications in the US: A Look at Cost and Sales Volume (and Why You Should Just Start a Goat Farm Instead)**
In a world where the price of a single prescription medication can rival the GDP of a small nation, we’ve compiled a list of the ten priciest prescription medications in the US. Spoiler alert: they’re not made of gold, but they might as well be.
1. **Zolgensma** – $2.1 million per dose. This gene therapy for spinal muscular atrophy is so expensive that it comes with a complimentary yacht. “I thought I was buying a medication, not a timeshare in the Bahamas!” exclaimed local dad Bob “Broke” Johnson, who now has to sell his kidney on the black market.
2. **Luxturna** – $850,000 per eye. This miracle drug for a rare genetic eye condition is so pricey that it’s rumored to be made from the tears of unicorns. “I just wanted to see my kids’ faces, not mortgage my house!” lamented Sarah “Visionary” Smith, who now has a lovely view of her neighbor’s fence.
3. **Soliris** – $700,000 per year. This drug treats a rare blood disorder and comes with a side of existential dread. “I thought I was just getting a prescription, not a subscription to my own financial ruin!” said Tom “Broke Again” Thompson, who now has to choose between groceries and his monthly dose.
4. **Brineura** – $700,000 per year. This treatment for a rare form of Batten disease is so expensive that it’s rumored to be infused with the laughter of children. “I’d rather pay for my kid’s college tuition!” cried Lisa “Desperate” Davis, who is now considering a career in interpretive dance to make ends meet.
5. **Actimmune** – $500,000 per year. This drug for chronic granulomatous disease is so costly that it comes with a complimentary therapist to help you cope with the financial burden. “I thought I was getting a medication, not a lifetime of therapy bills!” said Mark “Stressed” Stevens, who now has a PhD in budgeting.
6. **Cerliponase alfa** – $373,000 per year. This treatment for Batten disease is so pricey that it’s rumored to be sprinkled with fairy dust. “I’d rather buy a small island!” exclaimed Jenna “Island Dreamer” Jones, who is now considering a career in competitive eating to fund her child’s treatment.
7. **Kymriah** – $373,000 per treatment. This CAR T-cell therapy for certain types of blood cancer is so expensive that it comes with a complimentary therapist to help you cope with the financial burden. “I thought I was getting a medication, not a lifetime of therapy bills!” said Mark “Stressed” Stevens, who now has a PhD in budgeting.
8. **Yescarta** – $373,000 per treatment. This is another CAR T-cell therapy that’s so costly it’s rumored to be made from the dreams of children. “I’d rather buy a small island!” exclaimed Jenna “Island Dreamer” Jones, who is now considering a career in competitive eating to fund her child’s treatment.
9. **Eculizumab** – $300,000 per year. This drug treats a rare blood disorder and is so expensive that it comes with a side of existential dread. “I thought I was just getting a prescription, not a subscription to my own financial ruin!” said Tom “Broke Again” Thompson, who now has to choose between groceries and his monthly dose.
10. **Fabrazyme** – $300,000 per year. This treatment for Fabry disease is so pricey that it’s rumored to be infused with the laughter of children. “I’d rather pay for my kid’s college tuition!” cried Lisa “Desperate” Davis, who is now considering a career in interpretive dance to make ends meet.
In conclusion, if you’re looking to save some cash, consider starting a goat farm instead. At least goats don’t require a co-pay!
