**Texas Man Executed 13 Years After Setting Beloved Grandma on Fire: A Fiery Family Feud**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the Lone Star State both baffled and bemused, local man Billy Bob “Flame On” Jenkins was executed last Thursday, 13 years after he allegedly set his beloved grandma, Mabel Jenkins, ablaze during a heated argument over the last slice of pecan pie.
Witnesses report that the incident occurred during a family gathering in 2010, when Billy Bob, 32 at the time, became enraged after Mabel, 78, declared, “You snooze, you lose!” as she devoured the final piece of dessert. “I just wanted a taste of that pie,” Billy Bob lamented in his final words, “but I guess I’ll have to settle for a taste of the electric chair instead.”
Mabel, who was known for her award-winning pies and questionable taste in bingo partners, survived the incident but was left with a fiery personality that could rival a Texas summer. “I always told him he was too hot-headed,” she quipped from her hospital bed, “but I never thought he’d take it literally!”
The trial was a spectacle, with Billy Bob’s defense attorney, Cletus “The Fireman” McGraw, arguing that “it was just a little flame, like a birthday candle gone rogue.” However, the jury was not swayed by his “hot take” and sentenced him to death, citing that “you don’t mess with grandma’s pie and get away with it.”
As the execution date approached, Billy Bob reportedly tried to negotiate his way out of the chair by offering the warden a lifetime supply of his grandma’s famous pecan pie. “I told him, ‘You can’t kill me if I’m the only one with the recipe!’” he exclaimed, but alas, the warden was not swayed by culinary bribes.
In a final twist, Mabel attended the execution, wearing a shirt that read, “I survived the flames, but he didn’t.” As the smoke cleared, she added, “I always said he was a little too extra. Now he’s just… extra crispy.”
And so, Texas bids farewell to Billy Bob Jenkins, a man who took “family drama” to a whole new level. As for Mabel, she’s reportedly planning a new cookbook titled “Pies and Pyrotechnics: A Grandma’s Guide to Family Feuds.” Stay tuned, folks; this is one recipe you won’t want to miss!
