**Texas Lawmakers Demand Federal Funds for Biden’s Border Control Costs: “We Need a Bailout for Our Bailouts!”**
In a bold move that has left the nation scratching its head and Texas-sized hats, a group of Texas lawmakers has officially requested federal funds to cover the costs of border control under the Biden administration. “We’re just trying to keep our state as big as our egos,” said State Senator Chuck “Big Tex” McGraw, who is known for his impressive collection of cowboy boots and an even more impressive collection of excuses.
The proposal, dubbed the “Y’all Come Back Now Fund,” aims to secure billions of dollars to help Texas manage the influx of migrants, which lawmakers claim is “like trying to herd cats, but the cats are all wearing sombreros and asking for tacos.”
Representative Linda “Lone Star” Johnson chimed in, “If we can get federal funds for everything from peanut butter to pickleball, why not for our border? I mean, we’re practically a country over here! We should at least get a monthly stipend for our barbecue joints.”
Critics have raised eyebrows, with one anonymous source stating, “This is like asking your parents for money to pay off your credit card debt because you spent it all on avocado toast. Just grow up, Texas!”
In a surprising twist, Governor Greg Abbott announced plans to launch a new reality show titled “Border Control: Texas Edition,” where contestants will compete to see who can build the most effective wall using only pool noodles and duct tape. “It’s going to be huge,” Abbott declared, “and we’ll need federal funds to cover the production costs. I mean, have you seen the price of pool noodles lately?”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: Texas lawmakers are determined to keep their state’s reputation as the land of big ideas and even bigger requests. After all, if you can’t get the federal government to pay for your problems, are you even really a Texan?
