**Tense Meeting: Pro Golf Legends Talk South Africa with President Trump**
In a meeting that could only be described as a “hole-in-one of awkwardness,” President Donald Trump convened with a group of pro golf legends to discuss the future of South Africa—because, as we all know, nothing says “international diplomacy” like a round of golf and a side of questionable political commentary.
The meeting, held at Mar-a-Lago, featured golf titans like Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, and the lesser-known but equally enthusiastic “Bobby Birdie,” a self-proclaimed golf guru who once claimed to have invented the “swing-and-miss” technique. As the meeting commenced, Trump reportedly leaned back in his chair and said, “You know, I love South Africa. They have the best golf courses. Tremendous. Just tremendous. I hear they have a lot of ‘fore’—and I’m not talking about the number of strokes!”
Tiger Woods, trying to steer the conversation back to serious matters, said, “Mr. President, South Africa has a rich culture and history that we should respect.” Trump, unfazed, replied, “Culture? I thought we were talking about golf! Can we get some caddies in here? I need to know who’s carrying my clubs!”
Phil Mickelson chimed in, “Mr. President, we should focus on the economic opportunities in South Africa.” Trump nodded vigorously and said, “Absolutely! I’m thinking of opening a Trump Tower in Johannesburg. It’ll be the best tower. The best! I’ll call it ‘Trump Tower: The Real Estate of the Rainbow Nation.’”
As the meeting progressed, Bobby Birdie attempted to pitch his idea for a new golf tournament called “The South African Swing-Off,” where players would compete while dodging actual lions. “It’ll be thrilling!” he exclaimed. “And if you lose, you get eaten! Talk about high stakes!”
The meeting ended with Trump declaring, “Let’s make golf great again!” while Woods and Mickelson exchanged glances that screamed, “We need to get out of here before he starts talking about golf carts as a form of transportation.”
As the golf legends left, they couldn’t help but wonder if they had just played the most bizarre round of their careers. One thing was clear: South Africa might need a new ambassador—preferably one who knows the difference between a birdie and a lion.
