**Tennessee Set to Execute Oscar Smith After Three-Year Delay: A Comedy of Errors**
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by the universe’s most incompetent screenwriter, Tennessee is gearing up to execute Oscar Smith after a three-year delay, leaving many to wonder if they accidentally signed up for a reality show instead of a legal proceeding.
“Honestly, I thought we were just waiting for the next season of ‘The Bachelor’ to wrap up,” said local resident and self-proclaimed execution expert, Bubba “The Executioner” Jenkins. “I mean, who knew it would take this long? I could’ve sworn I saw Oscar at the grocery store last week picking up some milk. I thought he was just on a really long timeout!”
The delay, attributed to a series of bureaucratic blunders, has left Smith’s supporters scratching their heads. “I thought they were just trying to find the right flavor of lethal injection,” said his lawyer, Sally “The Last-Minute” Thompson. “I mean, have you tried the new ‘Citrus Zing’ flavor? It’s to die for!”
In a bizarre twist, Smith himself has taken the delay in stride. “I’ve been binge-watching ‘Friends’ and perfecting my sourdough recipe,” he quipped during a recent phone call. “At this point, I’m just hoping they don’t mess up the execution like they did my last haircut.”
As the state prepares for the big day, officials are reportedly scrambling to ensure everything goes smoothly. “We’ve got a checklist,” said Governor Bill “The Planner” Hargrove. “Step one: make sure the executioner shows up. Step two: remember to bring the right drugs. Step three: don’t accidentally schedule it on a holiday. We don’t want to ruin anyone’s weekend!”
As the clock ticks down, one thing is clear: whether it’s a comedy of errors or a tragicomedy, Tennessee’s execution of Oscar Smith is shaping up to be the most anticipated event since the last time someone tried to explain the state’s tax code. Stay tuned, folks; this is one show you won’t want to miss!
