**Suzuki’s 2-Run Homer Highlights Cubs’ 8-Run Sixth in 14-1 Victory Over Marlins: A Fishy Tale of Epic Proportions**
In a game that can only be described as a “fishing expedition,” the Chicago Cubs unleashed a tidal wave of runs against the Miami Marlins, culminating in an 8-run sixth inning that left fans wondering if they had accidentally wandered into a seafood buffet instead of a baseball game. The final score? A staggering 14-1, proving once and for all that the Marlins are better at swimming than they are at playing baseball.
Leading the charge was Seiya Suzuki, who hit not one, but two home runs, prompting Cubs fans to chant, “Seiya, Seiya, he’s our guy! If he can’t do it, we’ll just cry!” Suzuki, clearly unfazed by the pressure, commented post-game, “I just wanted to make sure the Marlins knew they were in deep water. And by deep water, I mean the bottom of the NL Central.”
Meanwhile, Marlins manager Donny “The Fish Whisperer” Mattingly was left scratching his head, wondering if he should have brought a net instead of a lineup card. “I thought we were playing baseball, not a game of ‘How Many Runs Can the Cubs Score Before We Call It a Night?’” he lamented. “At this rate, I might as well start training dolphins to play shortstop.”
The Cubs’ 8-run sixth inning was so explosive that it reportedly registered on the Richter scale, prompting local seismologists to issue a warning: “If you feel the ground shaking, don’t worry. It’s just the Cubs hitting home runs, not an earthquake. But you might want to check your fish tank.”
As the game wrapped up, fans were left with one burning question: “Is it too late to change the Marlins’ name to the Miami Flounders?” In the end, the Cubs celebrated their victory with a post-game fish fry, while the Marlins swam home, contemplating their next move—perhaps a career change to synchronized swimming.
