**Surge in Antisemitic Extremism Sparks Increase in Terror Plots Across the U.S. Since 2020: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that has left even the most seasoned conspiracy theorists scratching their heads, the U.S. has seen a surge in antisemitic extremism, leading to an unprecedented increase in terror plots since 2020. Experts are baffled, but one thing is clear: the only thing more explosive than these plots is the sheer absurdity of the individuals behind them.
Take, for instance, local resident and self-proclaimed “Anti-Semite Extraordinaire,” Chuck “The Conspiracy” Johnson. Chuck recently attempted to launch a plot involving a giant inflatable dreidel that he believed would “turn the tides” in his favor. “I thought if I could just get it to float over the local synagogue, it would rain down ‘truth bombs’ on everyone,” he explained, while wearing a tinfoil hat that he insists is “all the rage in the underground scene.”
Meanwhile, a group of wannabe extremists in Idaho, calling themselves the “Potato Patriots,” attempted to create a “potato-powered” bomb. “We figured if we can’t beat them, we can at least make them laugh,” said their leader, who goes by the name of Spud McGee. “But then we realized we just ended up with a lot of mashed potatoes and a very confused cat.”
Even the FBI has gotten in on the action, with agents reportedly rolling their eyes at the latest plot involving a “secret weapon” made entirely of bagels. “We thought it was a joke at first,” said Agent Sarah Bagelstein. “But then we realized they were serious. I mean, who knew a bagel could be so dangerous? I guess it’s true what they say: ‘The cream cheese is mightier than the sword.’”
As the nation grapples with this rise in absurdity, one thing is certain: if these extremists put as much effort into their hobbies as they do into their plots, we’d have a thriving community of potato artists and inflatable dreidel enthusiasts instead. So, let’s raise a bagel to the absurdity of it all—because if we can’t laugh at the ridiculousness of antisemitic extremism, what’s the point?
