**Supreme Court Dismisses Student’s Appeal Over ‘Only Two Genders’ T-Shirt: Fashion Statement or Fashion Faux Pas?**
In a landmark decision that has left the nation divided—much like a pizza with pineapple on it—the Supreme Court has officially dismissed a student’s appeal regarding his controversial “Only Two Genders” T-shirt. The case, which has been dubbed “Tee-Gate,” has sparked debates hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna.
The student, identified as Chad “The T-Shirt Tyrant” Thompson, claimed that his First Amendment rights were violated when he was sent home from school for wearing the shirt. “I just wanted to express my opinion, man! It’s like wearing a band tee, but instead of ‘Nirvana,’ it’s ‘Nirvana of Gender!’” Chad exclaimed, while simultaneously trying to convince his mom to let him wear cargo shorts to prom.
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s hologram, who was consulted for the case, reportedly said, “If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to make a fashion statement in court, I’d have enough to buy a lifetime supply of sensible shoes.”
In a surprising twist, the court’s decision was influenced by a brief from a group of fashion experts who argued that “the only thing more outdated than the ‘only two genders’ argument is wearing socks with sandals.”
Chad’s attorney, a self-proclaimed “gender-neutral fashionista” named Sparkle McGlitter, stated, “This isn’t just about a T-shirt; it’s about the right to express oneself through questionable wardrobe choices. What’s next? Banning cargo shorts?”
As the dust settles on this monumental case, Chad has vowed to take his fight to the next level. “I’m thinking of starting a new line of T-shirts that say ‘Gender is a Spectrum’—but in tie-dye, because, you know, peace and love, man!”
In the end, the Supreme Court may have dismissed the appeal, but the real question remains: will Chad ever find a shirt that fits both his beliefs and his questionable fashion sense? Only time—and perhaps a good tailor—will tell.
