**State Department Confirms Permanent Changes to DOGE Following Musk’s Exit**
In a shocking turn of events that has left crypto enthusiasts scratching their heads and dog owners barking in confusion, the U.S. State Department has officially confirmed that the beloved meme cryptocurrency, Dogecoin (DOGE), will undergo permanent changes following Elon Musk’s recent departure from the crypto scene.
“Without Musk, DOGE is like a dog without a bone—lost and confused,” stated Deputy Secretary of Barkonomics, Fido McWooferson, during a press conference held in a park filled with squirrels. “We’re implementing a new policy: every transaction will now require a cute dog picture to be attached. It’s the only way to keep the spirit of DOGE alive!”
In a bizarre twist, the State Department has also announced that all DOGE transactions will now be denominated in “paws,” with one paw equating to approximately 0.0000001 DOGE. “We believe this will make the currency more relatable,” said Chief Canine Officer, Barkley P. Hound. “Plus, it’s a great way to encourage people to adopt more dogs. Win-win!”
Critics, however, are skeptical. “This is just a ploy to distract us from the real issues,” said crypto analyst and part-time cat whisperer, Whiskers McFluff. “Next thing you know, they’ll be requiring us to wear dog costumes to buy coffee!”
Meanwhile, in a surprising show of solidarity, Musk himself tweeted, “I’m not leaving DOGE; I’m just letting it go on a long walk. It’ll be back, and it’ll be wearing a tutu!”
As the world watches in bemusement, one thing is clear: DOGE is here to stay, and it’s going to be a lot fluffier than before.
