**Breaking News: Oregon Homeless Shelter Stabbing Incident Leaves 11 Injured, Suspect Arrested—But Who’s Counting?**
In a shocking turn of events that could only happen in the wild, wild West—or Oregon, to be precise—an alleged stabbing incident at a local homeless shelter has left 11 people injured and one suspect arrested. Witnesses report that the chaos erupted over a heated debate about the best way to prepare instant ramen noodles.
“I was just trying to explain the merits of adding hot sauce,” said local ramen enthusiast and self-proclaimed noodle connoisseur, Gary “The Spice” Thompson. “Next thing I know, I’m dodging shivs like I’m in a bad action movie!”
The suspect, identified as 32-year-old “Knifey” McStabface, was apprehended after attempting to flee the scene on a stolen shopping cart. “I thought I could make a clean getaway,” McStabface told reporters while munching on a bag of chips. “But those wheels were wobblier than my life choices!”
Local authorities were quick to respond, with Officer Jane “The Peacekeeper” Smith stating, “We’re just glad no one was seriously hurt. I mean, it’s not every day you see a brawl over ramen. Next time, we suggest a cooking class instead.”
Meanwhile, shelter manager Bob “The Referee” Johnson is considering implementing a new policy: “No ramen debates after 8 PM. We can’t have people getting stabbed over flavor profiles. It’s just not safe!”
As the dust settles and the injured recover, one thing is clear: in Oregon, even a homeless shelter can turn into a culinary battleground. Stay tuned for updates on the upcoming “Ramen Wars: The Aftermath” documentary, coming soon to a streaming service near you!
