**Small Plane Crash in San Diego Neighborhood Triggers Evacuations Due to Poor Visibility: Residents Blame Local Squirrel for “Bad Weather”**
In a shocking turn of events, a small plane crash-landed in a San Diego neighborhood yesterday, prompting mass evacuations due to “poor visibility.” Witnesses reported that the visibility was so bad, they could barely see their own hands in front of their faces—though some claimed it was just their neighbor, Gary, who had been experimenting with a new cologne called “Eau de Gym Socks.”
Local resident and self-proclaimed aviation expert, Mildred “Muffin” McFluff, stated, “I thought it was just a really big bird at first. You know, like a turkey vulture or something. But then I realized it was a plane when it started making that awful noise. I thought it was my husband snoring again!”
The pilot, who was later identified as Chuck “The Flying Chicken” Johnson, reportedly attempted to land in the neighborhood after mistaking a backyard barbecue for a runway. “I was just trying to get a closer look at the ribs,” he said, still wearing his aviator sunglasses. “I didn’t realize the visibility was so bad until I saw a squirrel waving at me. I thought it was a ground control signal!”
As the plane came to a rest in the middle of a cul-de-sac, residents were evacuated, not due to the crash itself, but because of the overwhelming smell of burnt hot dogs wafting from the wreckage. “I was just about to flip my burgers when I saw the plane,” said local grill master, Tony “The Charcoal King” Rodriguez. “Now I have to evacuate? This is the worst day ever!”
Authorities are investigating the incident, while local squirrels are reportedly forming a union to demand better visibility regulations for pilots. “We just want to be able to cross the street without fear of being mistaken for a runway,” said one particularly feisty squirrel named Nutty McNutface.
In the meantime, residents are left wondering if they should be more concerned about the plane crash or the fact that Gary’s cologne is still lingering in the air. As one neighbor put it, “I’d take a plane crash over that smell any day!”
