**Shedeur Sanders of the Browns Exposes ‘Another Lie’ on Social Media: The Truth About Avocado Toast**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the sports world reeling, Shedeur Sanders, the quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, took to social media to expose what he claims is “another lie” perpetuated by the avocado toast industry. Yes, you read that right—avocado toast.
In a now-viral TikTok video, Sanders, sporting a Browns jersey and a pair of sunglasses that could only be described as “too cool for Cleveland,” declared, “I’m tired of the lies! Avocado toast is NOT the breakfast of champions. It’s the breakfast of people who don’t know how to make eggs!”
The video, which features a dramatic soundtrack and a slow-motion montage of Sanders dramatically tossing avocados into a trash can, has garnered over 5 million views. “I used to think I was living my best life with my smashed avocado on toast,” he continued, “but then I realized I was just living my best life in a hipster café with a $12 bill!”
In an exclusive interview with our satirical news team, Sanders elaborated, “I mean, who needs healthy fats when you can have bacon? I’m just saying, if I wanted to eat green mush, I’d just chew on a lawn!”
The backlash was swift. Influencer and self-proclaimed “Avocado Queen,” Bella Green, responded with a video of her own, stating, “Shedeur is just mad because he can’t handle the truth. Avocado toast is the reason I can run 5 miles without breaking a sweat. And also, I’m on a strict diet of kale and dreams.”
Meanwhile, Browns fans are divided. Some are rallying behind Sanders, while others are still trying to figure out how to pronounce “quinoa.”
As the avocado toast debate rages on, one thing is clear: Shedeur Sanders has officially taken the field in the battle against brunch. And if you’re still munching on that green spread, you might want to reconsider your life choices—unless, of course, you’re a fan of the Cleveland Browns. In that case, you might just need the extra fiber.
